He’s keeping the blog warm for me.
He’s keeping the blog warm for me.
[Blame Syp and Ysharros for this departure from my normal-type posts. Didn't edit it, didn't really spend much time on it, but we DO call Larky 'pest' which is where the initial joke came from. I'm no writer!]
Ok, so this is all a bit embarrassing. I’m pretty new to all of this, got the Apocalypse assignment quite late in the day, due to.. unforeseen circumstances. I did what any good administrator would, read up on the protocols, what was needed logistically. So we needed four harbingers of death, destruction and chaos. The old dusty tomes said ‘horsemen’, but seriously, our budget these days just wouldn’t stretch to four horses and their spectral riders. Besides, it all seemed a bit ‘Lord of the Rings’, horsemen foretelling doom.
I thought I was being post-modern and more than a little ironic, while preserving our budgetary constraints. Did a bit of reading in human mythology and it all seemed a good idea to just switch out with a cheaper animal to anthropomorphise. Humans are such malleable creatures, able to believe almost anything. So, I think they were bullshitting me a bit, when I kept hearing cats were pure evil. But, you know what, they’re also easy to work with, so thought I’d give it a shot.
Talk about disaster.
The four cats of the Apocalypse. Really, it’s going with me to the grave. But, since you asked. Here’s a quick picture of what went wrong.
Let’s start with Pestilence. I picked a small silver tabby kitten born outside a care home. She got taken in by a decent enough couple, hand-reared and hissy. Was quite proud of her ability to pick up fleas! And she was certainly a naughty kitten, but not really evil at her core. And very sleepy. After a few months, when she should have been out there spreading disease to the local population, I caught her napping, and noticed she’d not really left the house in weeks. She was my first project, so I called her in to have a chat. And she just yawned at me! I asked her all about living up to her name. And you will never guess…she’d fallen asleep during her initial briefing and thought her name was Pest!
I tried to do a better job with War, thinking War is one of the big important ones. For this we’d need a proud and large ginger tom. Picked him out, made sure he was a fighter, gave him the pep talk and sent him out to spread battle and dissent amongst the foolish humans. Backfired? Hell yes. He only got as far as the local mouse population, and when I asked he said he thought he’d start small and work up to bigger evil deeds. Ah well, at least he got some shrieks when he brought his carcasses home as gifts.
Famine. A white tomcat this time as I’d decided to work with males since Pest’s admission of inattentiveness. Picked the scrawniest animal I could find and sent him out into the world. I know, you’ve already guessed this one. No-one told me how single-minded cats could be, nor how much humans would pander to them. Famine is now the size of a small balloon, and has 6 houses in one street that feed him daily. He says he’s decided this is a better way to live…
So, Death would be my redemption. I had it all worked out. I really did. I even saved the superstition-inducing black cat for the role and found a really evil one in an animal shelter just desperate to bring down the human race. Perfect!
But I never got the chance, I’m off the project now and additional funding is being sought. Remember this when the horsemen come. It could, and SHOULD have been the four CATS of the Apocalypse.
Because most of the pictures I post here are of Diesel (my limp-y cat), here’s one of the other one, Malarkey (aka Larky) snuggled up on a cushion while I watch TV. Cats are having a trial separation for the morning, so she can’t chase Diesel while he’s hurting.
I’ve not disappeared. Diesel (aforementioned cat) is on the mend, but has taken up a lot of my time and attention to make sure he’s a. eating his meds, b. improving, c. not being victimised by Princess Malarkey (she added the Princess!). He’s doing much better, but a limp remains. And we’re back to the evil boss vet tomorrow. Fun!
Spinks is also on her way up to me today. Hurrah. I shall kidnap her and steal her blogging vibe. Or not blog much while I entertain her.
Actually, I do have some serious blog posts planned. They may be a little less whimsical than my norm, which is probably why I’ve delayed them to watch TV instead. And, on that note, Supernatural is being superb! Also loving pretty much everything else on my watchlist, but with a special place for Supernatural.
I meant to return to blogging regularly this week, but have been derailed by the gorgeous Diesel and his sore paw. While acting like it was broken, it appears to just be a bruise. But he needs a lot of attention right now just to be persuaded to eat and is recovering from the ketamine the vet gave him. Poor baby!
Two of the things I love turn 5 today. First, pictured with his 3rd birthday present, is Diesel:
And secondly, Lost (the show), which premiered on 22nd Sept 2004. I never actually made the connection before, because Diesel didn’t arrive ON his birthday, and because his is a somewhat made-up date for us to celebrate on, since he came to us on 22nd April 2005 aged 7 months, so we did the maths. But we’ve always celebrated on 22nd Sept.
To celebrate the Lost anniversary, you can now go enrol at the Lost University, and take a fun little enrolment test. Not sure it’ll go anywhere, except for those that buy the Blu Ray, but I liked my student ID.
[Edit: Yes, yes - is also Bilbo/Frodo's birthday - but unlike Lost and Diesel, hobbits are fictional as are their dates of birth!]
I’m so tired. I should never ask for overtime. But then I should never go out for late-night meals and get home so I have 5 hours before I need to get up to prepare for work.
Cats were adorable, when I got home Diesel trotted up for a cuddle and to make sure it was me, and then when he was done, Larky was trotting towards me. I love them, they need some more cuddling to make out for their abandonment yesterday.
But the tiredness has meant I’ve read a lot less, and that I’ve barely played a game at all. Picked up some graphic novels at work (Transmetropolitan and a bunch of The Authority) and I want to read through those, but at the moment, they’re in the ‘to-do’ pile.
Playing more LotRO than WAR still, so might check in when I get home, though am bound to be a bit sleepy. Waiting for Bitter Rivals, but currently down about the whole EU/US split, which seems to be widening. I really, honestly, think that Mythic never had any intention of an equal service to Europe sometimes. Or, so it seems. I imagine there will be some spin though that says otherwise.